Ascension
by imgoingtocallyoufern
Summary: "I'd felt a part of me disappear, as his absence made everything drearier, like I was the one dying rather than him. I just couldn't force that bloody image of Deeks to leave my mind. I might not have been able to see his baby blue eyes before he completely disappeared from my sight, but the exact second I clamped mine shut that was all that I could visualize." (One-shot)


**Here's my take on the Densi side of the season premiere, solely based off of the promos and spoilers that we've received.**

**From Kensi's POV, as was highly requested.**

**Enjoy:)**

**. . .**

Deeks' struggle was real, his pain palpable.

I could do nothing but inhale a deep sob and silent scream, knees nearly buckling at the sight before me. Deeks' almost lifeless body was slumped over in a hard metal chair, blood spilling from his mouth.

I practically came to a sliding stop when he didn't even look up to greet me, or say 'hello, thanks for finding me,' with his eyes. Something was gravely wrong, something much worse than just his teeth.

"Deeks! No no no," I muttered breathlessly, sinking down to the floor beside him. I gingerly brought one shaking hand up to tilt his chin towards me slightly, in a feeble attempt to take in his condition.

That was when I saw it: two gunshot wounds in his the chest, his forest green jacket stained with crimson blood.

My breathing stopped completely. But more than that- _time _seemed to stop completely.

"Oh my god," was all I could muster, my voice a whisper as tears filled my eyes, immediately clouding my already fuzzy vision. I could feel the world tilt on its axis, my vision narrowing to pinpricks- but I pressed on regardless.

In that moment, Deeks was my top priority. Nothing else mattered.

He was so much more than just a partner, or a close friend. And suddenly, without any sort of doubt or trepidation- I found that fact alone to be undoubtedly true.

I needed to save Deeks. He couldn't die- not ever like that. Not after what had just occurred between us a mere hour prior.

Somehow, I found the strength within me to steady my bobbing head, taking in my surroundings and easily realizing what I needed to do. "Granger! Ambulance, now!"

"They're on their way!"

I barely perceived his response, as the only thing my mind could actually hear was the uneven beating of my heart, it's brash sound hammering through the shell of my body. No one else existed besides Deeks' and I.

"Deeks? Look at me, _please _Deeks!"

My tone was pleading, as if I was asking for a little more time. More time to show him that I cared, to have some descent communication skills, and maybe, just maybe, to kiss him back, rather than running away, speechless.

He never responded to my frantic request, so I quickly peeled off my flannel jacket to apply pressure to Deeks' gunshot wound, hoping and desperately praying that I would be able to stop the blood that was pooling beneath my trembling hands.

I reached my one free hand up to check his pulse: it was still there, thumping away sporadically beneath my touch.

"Don't do this to me Deeks," I whispered to him unintelligibly as the tears began to course down my cheeks. "Please."

An ambulance had been on call, just waiting for the moment when we finally located our two missing team members, so it was only a matter of time before the paramedics filed in.

They tried to gently nudge me out of the way, but I couldn't force myself to leave his side.

Eventually, the amount of people surrounding him had grown to such a large number that I had no choice but to move away from him. A stretcher was brought in, tears silently pooling in my eyes as I watched Deeks' nearly lifeless body be swiftly moved onto the gurney.

Paralyzed by fear for my partner, I could not command my legs to run after him. If I did, I might have had to see him take a breath for the very last time, or watch as he bled out onto the floor.

So instead I just sat on the cold hard ground, the entire front of my shirt covered in his blood, slowly but surely losing my mind as my partner was wheeled away from me.

We hadn't said goodbye, or given each other our dying last words per say, but it sure as hell felt like it. I had never previous understood how the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said, and never explained- but by then I got it.

To say that I'd felt him leave me would've been to underestimate the situation drastically.

I'd felt a part of me disappear, as his absence made everything drearier, like I was the one dying rather than him.

I just couldn't force that bloody image of Deeks to leave my mind. I might not have been able to see his baby blue eyes before he completely disappeared from my sight, but the exact second I clamped mine shut that was all that I could visualize.

His face, his hair, his smile. The mental images filled my mind, cluttering it with an overwhelming sense of agonizing regret.

I could still feel the pain as it seemed to seep into my bones, overtaking every part of my body. The ache was frantic, still desperate as it covered me, taking with it everything in its path.

I honestly didn't know what to think, or how to feel. All I knew was that once again, I was alone in this world. I was alone and I was crying.

I was crying, and Deeks was gone.


End file.
